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The Sunday Talk Given by Prof. Anil Kumar

Talk on the Subject ‘I’

October 11, 2009

OM…OM…OM…

Sai Ram

With Pranams at the Lotus Feet of Bhagavan,

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Concept of ‘I’

I give my thanks to Swami for making this satsang possible, and I thank everybody for being here this morning. Today I would like to talk on the subject, ‘I’. It appears to be rather strange that I should speak on ‘I’. We know what ‘I’ means ― the single-lettered ‘I’. Everyone starts making use of this word ‘I’ right from childhood. Right from the cradle, as the child starts speaking, the first thing is this identity with ‘I’. I would like to speak on this subject ‘I’ from the spiritual point of view, to show how it will help us with our spiritual progress, and how we can advance along this spiritual path.

My friends, I usually say I was born in the year 1942, on October 25^th. What do I mean by this? The date of birth indicates the birth of the body. So when I say I was born in that year, it means that ‘I’ is the body; this ‘I’-ness is with reference to the body. However, I may say sometimes that ‘I am an Indian’, which relates to the geography of the place where I live. I may refer to my position, or I may refer to my qualification, my nativity, or my language. All these things involve this ‘I’. This ‘I’-ness establishes my identity regarding who I am, how I introduce myself to you, what I am, and what I stand for. This ‘I’ — the one that is born and the one that is going to die some day — is the same ‘I’ that is full of anger sometimes, full of coolness, or full of equanimity. And it is the ‘I’ that enjoys all kinds of pleasures and suffers all kinds of pain. It is this ‘I’ who has all sorts of desires, who feels very happy when they are fulfilled and feels very unhappy when they are not fulfilled.

THE Ignorant or False ‘I’

This is the ‘I’ that we know of. This is the ‘I’ with which we identify ourselves; it is the ‘I’ that is quite common for us, and this is the ‘I’ which is easily understood. In other words: that which is born, that which dies, that which has pleasure, that which has pain, that which has desire, and that which has anger . . . all these dualities constitute the ‘I’, consisting of personal identity. My friends, this is the ‘I’ universally known all over the world. Right from a childhood to old age, man is familiar with what ‘I’ is.

This I would call the external ‘I’ or the common ‘I’, which is not real. This ‘I’ — what I think in relation to my body, what I think with reference to my mind, and how I project myself with reference to my intellect, is all ignorance. So the concept of ‘I’ or the idea of the external ‘I’ speaks of and stands for ignorance and lack of awareness. So long as I think this is who I am ― the one who is born, the one who is going to die, the one who enjoys, the one who suffers — then this false ‘I’ is and will be the cause for birth and rebirth.

Why am I born again and again? The cause is ignorance. What is ignorance? Ignorance is nothing but identification with the false ‘I’. This is the first point I would like to draw your attention to this morning. The cause for birth and rebirth is ignorance. Ignorance is nothing but the false ‘I’, and the false ‘I’ is nothing other than the one who is born, the one who dies, and the one who passes through the dual experiences, opposite polarities, and contradictions of life.

THE REAL ‘I’

But spirituality speaks of another ‘I’, which is diametrically opposite to this outer ‘I’. This spiritual ‘I’ is the real ‘I’, while the ‘I’ that I spoke of, the ‘I’ that each and every one of us refers to in the community, is the false ‘I’. It is unreal. The real ‘I’ is continuous, eternal, and is never born; therefore, it will never die. That which is born is sure to die, and the scriptures say (i.e. the Bhagavad Gita) ‘the one who dies shall be born again’. So it is a question of birth and rebirth.

But the real ‘I’ has no birth and rebirth; it is eternal, immortal, and continuous. The real ‘I’ is beyond the body and has nothing to do with the body. The body is born, it grows, and then it disappears. But the real ‘I’ is beyond the body. The real ‘I’ is beyond the mind as well because the mind is, at times, immature; but at other times it may be mature. The mind may be at times quite sharp, but later the mind may lose its power of memory. The power of recapitulation and the power to recall may fade with advancing age.

So the real ‘I’ is beyond the mind. It is beyond the senses. The senses are very powerful, but later they might not be as powerful as before. So there is another ‘I’, the real ‘I’, which is beyond the body, beyond the mind, beyond the senses, and beyond the intellect. It has no birth and no death, but is eternal, immortal, and continuous. This is the real ‘I’. It is awareness. For when I have awareness of my real ‘I’, I will never again have any birth or rebirth. So ignorance is the cause for birth and rebirth, due to identification with the body. With this awareness of the real ‘I’, you will never have to come again on earth; you don’t have to be born again.

Therefore my friends, spirituality is an experiment; it is an investigation and it is a path of enquiry to find the real ‘I’ as opposed to the false ‘I’. So long as I move about with this notion of false ‘I’, I am worldly, I am physical, I am psychological, I am intellectual, and I am either a success or a failure. But the real ‘I’ is purely spiritual and can be known by intuition. Intuition can be experienced by enquiry, with awareness — with no dreams at all. The real ‘I’ is no dreamer.

Purpose of human life

You may ask me a question: “What do I get by this awareness? Why? What is the advantage in knowing the real ‘I’?”

The advantage is that you will not have a fear of death. Most of us live with the fear of death. But if you know the real ‘I’, which has no birth at all, which is not going to die, and which is continuous like a stream, you will not have a fear of death. You will be fearless and you will be courageous. Identification with the false ‘I’ will make you face all kinds of bumps and jumps in life; but awareness will keep you equanimous and balanced. It will keep you peaceful and blissful throughout. Therefore, in the long run, it is necessary to know this real ‘I’.

Another point I would like to emphasise is this: all other living creatures, be they plants or animals, have no chance to know their real ‘I’, because plants and animals have no mind. They cannot investigate, they cannot explore, they cannot experiment, and they cannot enquire. Therefore, they cannot know the real ‘I’. It is only a human being who is given a chance to know the real ‘I’. Therefore, the purpose of human life is to know the real ‘I’. We spend all our lifetime in this identification with the false ‘I’, in relation to our body, mind, senses, intellect, and so on. It is not befitting of humans to lead an animal life. To be human, one should know the real ‘I’. What is it? That is the purpose of life; that is the goal of life.

Cause of Ignorance IS ILlusion

Then we may begin to wonder, “Why this conflict? How is it that I do not know the real ‘I’? Why do I go by the false ‘I’? Why do I always think that I am that false ‘I’ only? Why do I not know the real ‘I’? Why?”

The reason is illusion. People speak of illusion or maya. You ask anybody and they say, “Maya, maya, maya.” What is maya? It is illusion. Illusion, or maya, is to think that you are what you are not. To think that you are the body is an illusion, because you are not the body. To think you are the mind is an illusion. To think that you are the intellect is an illusion. Illusion means to think that you are what you are not. You identify with everything, and that is all illusion. You are truly the real ‘I’.

What is the cause for this illusion? Why am I deluded? Why do I believe in this illusion? Why am I under the influence of maya? It is because of the mind. It is the mind that is the cause for all this illusion, because the mind is always outward. The mind is external, the mind is worldly, the mind is contradictory, and the mind is dual. Therefore, it is the cause for illusion.

Therefore my friends, we have a choice. One is bondage, and the other is liberation. Bondage means birth and rebirth, and liberation means birthlessness, deathlessness, and immortality. What do you choose between the two? Do you choose bondage or liberation? If you leave this world with the awareness of the real ‘I’, it is liberation. You won’t have to be reborn again. If you leave the world without this awareness of the real ‘I’, then it is bondage, and you will have to be born again and again.

It is like a student who has to appear for his examinations again and again until he passes. If he fails, he must appear again. If he fails again, he has to reappear and take a number of chances until he gets through the examination. Similarly, until we know the real ‘I’, we have to be born again and again. This is the essence of Sanathana Dharma. This is the summary of Sanathana Dharma. Therefore, the choice is given to man either to be caught in the cobweb of bondage or to be free like a bird — totally liberated. This has been the choice for mankind since time immemorial.

So how does this awareness — or the real ‘I’ — reflect? How does it respond? How does it react? How does it interact? We know how the false ‘I’ acts and interacts. The false ‘I’ always lives in pride, jealousy, pomp, show, speciality, uniqueness, domination and superiority. Oh, any number of things can be said about false ‘I’ because most of us live in that. Life is stinking with this false ‘I’. But how does the true ‘I’ act? How does it react? A man of awareness or the true ‘I’ will consider everything Divine. The world is not separate from him. All living creatures and the entire creation are not separate from him. Everything is one totality; it is oneness, only oneness, only One.

“I am not separate from you, and you are not separate from me. Plants are not separate from me, and animals are not separate from me. The whole universe is Divine, nothing but Divine.” That is the expression. That is the reaction. That is the relationship. That is the understanding, and that is the response of a man with the awareness of the true ‘I’. Is it not worth knowing? Is it not worth enquiring into? Is it not worth it? Having been born as a human being, should we not know the real ‘I’? So, we have to die to this false ‘I’ in which we have lived for decades and decades.

Now let us understand a few things here. The first thing is to know the true ‘I’. So let me not mingle with those who underestimate life, who neglect life, who dishonour me, and who disrespect me. That gives me a low estimate of myself. No, let me not be in that company, because life begins with self-respect. I should know how to respect myself. When I respect myself, I will be respecting you. Out of this self-respect is born self-confidence . . . a man of self-respect can only be confident. A man without self-respect can never be self-confident. Self-confidence is the key for success. Be it the false ‘I’ or the real ‘I’, confidence is essential. Therefore my friends, let us be in the company of those who love. Let us be in the company of those who have mutual co-operation, who have mutual reverence, and who have mutual respect — not the other way around.

The other way to be closer to the inner ‘I’ is to not forget our daily sadhana, or spiritual practise. Let us spend some time, as Sadhu Vaswani says, “Let everyone of us spend some time for ourselves, a moment of silence, a moment of meditation, some time exclusively for our own self-enquiry.” That is what Sadhu Vaswani always emphasises. It is a very good piece of advice. We spend all the time on our family. We spend all the time with our friends, so we have no time for ourselves. So some time for enquiry, some time of silence, and some time for meditation will take us closer and closer to the real ‘I’. As the speed of this enquiry increases, more and more as days pass by, the real ‘I’ manifests itself. The real ‘I’ blossoms, the real ‘I’ manifests, the real ‘I’ projects, and the real ‘I’ gives you the totality of existential reality. It gives the experience of the unity of Divinity. That is what is required today.

obstacles On the path of knowing the real ‘I’

However, in this process of knowing the real ‘I’, we have certain obstacles. We have so many blocks, so many interferences of different kinds. We have some age-old habits; these are the habits that are not cultivated today, during this life, but old habits from our previous life. Old habits in the previous life come back to us in the form of vasanas. These are the imprints of the old habits of the previous life. These vasanas prompt thoughts, then thoughts lead to actions, and actions take you to bondage or liberation. Actions can be sinful or meritorious. Therefore, one reason that we have obstacles along the path of awareness is because of vasanas, or the habits of our previous life.

Another reason is that there is too much body attachment and too much body consciousness. The body may be unhealthy. A healthy body thinks that life is just the body, while an unhealthy body is always grumbling, is always begrudging, and is always complaining because of sickness. So, physical reasons are also obstacles for the experience of the real ‘I’.

The third reason is our mental weakness. Most of us live in the mind, so most of us are of the mind. When you are of the mind, when you are in the mind, and when you function through the mind, it becomes a very big obstacle. Therefore, age old habits, physical obstacles, and mental or psychological obstacles come in our way to hinder the experience or the awareness of the real ‘I’.

Practices to reduce misery

So what should I do? Two things are said and prescribed. First, develop an interest towards the real ‘I’, a deep interest, a keenness, an alertness, a wakefulness, an eagerness to know the real ‘I’. Have such an interest that you are always keeping it as the top priority in your life.

“What do you want?”

“I want to know the real ‘I’.”

It should be on top of the priority list. This is called tapas, or penance. Tapas is the keenness to know the real ‘I’. Nothing more, and nothing less than that! Being so keen to experience the inner ‘I’ is tapas, or penance. The second thing is Constant Integrated Awareness — having that knowledge of the Self, that experience of the Self. It is not enough if you have the interest; it is the experience of the Self that you must have. It is not enough if you are eager and keen, but it is necessary that you should have the knowledge of the Self. This is Atma-vidya, or knowledge of the Self. Therefore my friends, two things are very essential in this life: one is tapas or keenness to know, and the other is the actual knowing or experience of the supreme Self, or real ‘I’. This is called Brahma-vidya or Atma-vidya.

We should also understand another point: right from the beginning, man is miserable. Yes, he may have glimpses of happiness. He might say, “I will be happy if I own a flat.” He may think, “I will be happy if I own a car.” He may think he will be happy if he has a beautiful wife. He may think he will be happy if he has a good bank account. However, these are only glimpses of happiness or pleasure; basically he is miserable, discontented, dissatisfied. Therefore, what is the cause for misery? Let us understand it.

All religions — Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Jainism, Buddhism, Confucianism — whatever religion it is, whatever school of philosophy it is, comes forward with a solution for a common problem — the problem of misery. Life is full of misery. Please understand. I do not mean we are not happy. I mean we only have glimpses of pleasure, glimpses of happiness. We do not have a continued state of bliss, or eternal happiness. No, we only have glimpses.

What is the cause for this misery? Why? We do that and this. Some people say, “Go to the temple, and you will get out of misery.” Aha, good! Most of the people who go to the temple are more miserable than those who do not go to the temple! Some people say, “You fast.” By fasting, will we get out of misery? So, all these suggestions to get out of misery will not help us. No! I am more than sure about it.

Why? The cause of misery is within you. Others give solutions that are all outside. The solutions are outside, while the problem is inside. The problem of misery is deep within, but the solutions suggested are only outer or external. How do you expect solutions that are outer or external to solve the problem of misery, which is within? Therefore my friends, we have to understand that the causes for misery are within us, not outside. They are within.

solution to all misery

Alright! You may know the cause is within you, and once you know that, how do you react to the different situations in life? When you are fortunate enough, when you are lucky, when times are favourable to you, you will be very thankful to God. “God, You have given me this, and I am happy.” So you will be grateful to God. But when you are unlucky, when you are unfortunate, when things are denied you, when everything turns negative in your life, you will say, “Oh, God! You have taken away from me that which You had given.”

I am rich, yes . . . good. I lost all my property . . . good. Equally good! Because all property is Yours (God’s), and the property You have has been taken back. So all that I have is taken away, because it belongs to You; it is not mine.

I have a position; You have blessed me with a position. Tomorrow, I may not be in a position — meaning You have taken away my position, and I don’t need to worry about it. Therefore, when I know that the cause for misery is within me, then I am not frustrated, nor egotistic. I will be respectful, grateful to God always, even in times of heavy loss. “Oh God, You have some purpose in this, and You have taken away what You have given me.” That will be the attitude of a person who knows that the cause for misery is within him.

It is also said in Sanathana Dharma, “Whatever sadhana you may do, whatever spiritual practise you may do with this false ‘I’, it will never take you to the destination. It will never take you to the goal. It will only be a constant struggle. A simple example: how do you find a black cat, which is non-existent, on a dark night? There is no cat at all. First of all, you think there is a black cat, and you are in search of it on a dark night. So being in search of a non-existent black cat on a dark night is madness. Therefore my friends, let us understand this: that which suffers and that which is miserable is the false ‘I’, not the true ‘I’.

“I cry.” What is that which cries? The false ‘I’ cries, but not the real ‘I’.

“I am highly egotistic.” The false ‘I’ is highly egotistic, but not the real ‘I’.

“I am dominant and powerful.” This is the false ‘I’, not the real “I.”

“I am depressed and frustrated.” This is also the false ‘I’, not the real ‘I’.

Therefore my friends, this consciousness is the reality. This awareness of the real ‘I’ is very necessary because whatever you do with the false ‘I’ is useless. It is something like writing on the surface of water. Whatever you write on the surface of water will not stay. Whatever you write on the sand along the seashore won’t stay. Similarly, for our sadhana to be fulfilled, for our sadhana to be successful, let us know the real ‘I’. Let us have first the concept and then the awareness of the real ‘I’, so our life is to be spiritually meaningful, purposeful, and fruitful.

THOUGHTS MUST BE WITHDRAWN

This whole thing can be explained in one way, my friends. First of all, there is this original consciousness, and out of this came the thought of me. Then came the mind that gave birth to so many thoughts, which ultimately expressed itself by its actions. So at the bedrock, at the bottom, there is this consciousness.

So what is to be done now? The thoughts must be withdrawn. The withdrawal of thoughts is meditation. What do I mean? “No-mind” is stable, which is possible by meditation. So, see that you are thought-free and that the mind is passive. This means that the ‘I’-ness is gone; that is, the false ‘I’ is gone and this new ‘I’ gets totally immersed, totally sunk, totally drowned in that consciousness. The false ‘I’ gets drowned in the real ‘I’. Therefore, the false ‘I’ should get deeply sunk into the consciousness. Ramana Maharshi calls it awareness, or consciousness. The false ‘I’ should be withdrawn, sunk into the heart — the spiritual heart. By the withdrawal of the mind, it is possible to get out of the misery or the expression of the false ‘I’.

Then what is the immediate solution? How am I to begin this process? First, let me understand by chanting His name (japa), by singing His name (bhajans), and by meditation (dhyana). Let me begin to experience that awareness of the real ‘I’. Then, what happens in the process of japa, or repetition of God’s name, in the process of singing His name, or bhajans? The immediate thing is that we go beyond name and form. But we are within the framework of name and form. So long as you are within the framework of name and form, it is the false ‘I’. The real ‘I’ is beyond the name and form. It is nameless and formless. And that state can be experienced initially by japa (repeating His name) or dhyana (meditation).

Then what happens? When you are nameless and formless, in that state singing bhajans loudly, doing japa repeatedly, or by constantly meditating upon Him, the name and form are lost. When the name and form are lost, the mind becomes diluted, the mind becomes weak, the mind becomes static, the mind becomes passive, and the mind becomes inert, dull and thought-free. That is the experience of awareness of the real ‘I’. The experience of the real ‘I’ is the state of namelessness and formlessness; it is withdrawal of the mind. Thoughtless-ness is something that we, as spiritual seekers, have got to understand.

Here is a caution, my friends. Baba has been telling us recently in many of His discourses that so long as you attach yourself to a name and a form, you will never know the reality! You should go beyond the name and the form. Then, and only then, will you experience the reality; then only you will know what the real ‘I’ is.

SADGURU WILL NOT LEAVE YOU TILL YOU REACH THE GOAL

Now there are two points which I would like to draw your attention to. My friends, let me remind you that we are all chosen by God, we are all chosen by Baba. You have not chosen Baba! Let me be very clear about it. You have not chosen Him. He has chosen you. So what is the difference between the choice exercised by you and the choice exercised by Baba? The difference is this: when the guru or Sadguru chooses you, He will not leave you until you reach your goal. No! He will see to it that you reach your goal. He will see to it that you are successful.

It is like a mother carrying the child in her arms. When the guru chooses you, he will carry you to success, to fulfilment. On the other hand, if you chose your guru, it is your responsibility and not his. It is like a child walking, catching the hand of the mother. The mother has two kids now. She carries one in her arm, and she is guiding the other by catching hold of his hand. The child may let go the hand of the mother and fall. This is similar to a disciple choosing a guru. While the other child, carried by the mother in her arms, is like the Sadguru choosing a disciple — your safety and your success are guaranteed.

WASH OUT ALL VASANAS

But let us be always alert, like a watchdog. The watchdog will not allow anyone into the house. It will allow only the owner into the house. It will allow those known to itself, but not everyone. Let our mind be a watchdog. Let it know the mistakes of life. Let it identify the weaknesses of life. Let it smell the pitfalls of life, so that they are slowly dropped.

We do have vasanas, as I was telling you a little while ago. Vasanas are the tendencies and traits or habits of the past life. Here in this life we should wash out all those vasanas, so that there will be no trace of the past life at all. Vasana-kshaya: it will be completely washed away. That is what we will do when the mind is a watchdog and not a slave. Then what happens? Life is a matter of pleasure. Life is a matter of experience. Life is blissful.

When the real ‘I’ is experienced, you are fearless. A simple example: a man owns a car, and he stops at a shopping complex. He gets out of his car to do some shopping. When he gets out of his car, he won’t cry because the car is different from him. He is in the car, he is driving in the car, and then at the shopping complex he gets down from the car. The car is the body, but ‘I’ is the real Self. So he is in the car, and he may get out of the car. I don’t have any fear of death because I get out of this car (the body). I am in the car during the journey, and I get out of the car at my destination.

Therefore, to be fearless; one should know that the body is the car, and the real ‘I’ is the owner. But if you think you are the car, it is the false ‘I’ that is the trouble. Remember, you say, “My car”, so you are not the car. Therefore, to be fearless, the awareness of the true ‘I’ is needed. Then the fear of death will be totally gone.

Therefore, all sadhana is an effort to go within. All our spiritual quests, all our spiritual enquiry, is to go within and distance ourselves from the false ‘I’. We should be closer and closer to the reality. The real ‘I’ is blissful, non-dual, and spiritual. That is the purpose of human life and spirituality. May God bless you, and Sai Ram!

Asatho Maa Sad Gamaya

Thamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya

Mrthyormaa Amrtam Gamaya

Samastha Loka Sukhino Bhavantu

Om Shanti Shanti Shantihi

Jai Bolo Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Babaji ki Jai!

Jai Bolo Bhagavan Shi Sathya Sai Babaji ki Jai!

Thank you. God bless you.