April 15^th, 2007

“Let Us Learn To Accept Ourselves As We Are”

OM…OM…OM…

Sai Ram

With Pranams at the Lotus Feet of Bhagavan,

 Dear Brothers and Sisters,

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE NEW YEAR

I do not know the exact meaning of the word Vishu, but I wish you a happy Vishu! (Laughter) The New Year is an opportunity to look back at the year gone by and to make an assessment of our actions. It is an occasion to thank God for all our achievements in the past year. At the same time, it is an occasion to learn lessons from our errors. Failure is as helpful as success, because without failure there cannot be success. Success has more meaning when there has been failure; they are the obverse and reverse of the same coin.

ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOU ARE

I would like to bring your attention to what Bhagavan has said on occasions like this—especially on New Year day celebrations: First, let us learn to accept ourselves as we are. When we want to be like someone else, problems arise. Life becomes miserable. Nobody can become someone else—that’s impossible; it is against the laws of nature. One can successfully imitate, but a Xerox is Xerox and a carbon copy is a carbon copy, while the original is absolutely original. We’ll be a total failure if we want to copy somebody else, and we do not appreciate the gifts God has individually given each of us. So my humble request to all of you (and a sort of reminder to myself) is to accept ourselves as we are, and as we were designed.

Secondly, Bhagavan has said that, as we turn inward, we should be in a position to discover ourselves. What does He mean by discovering one’s Self? Discovering one’s own Self means discovering the talents we were given by God. God has given us certain capacities and abilities. We all have the potential to grow in due course of time. So the New Year should help us in this process of Self-discovery.

 SPIRITUALITY IS ABOUT EXPERIENCE

Spirituality is an eternal journey. It is one in which we cannot stop at any particular state. In this journey, we will never be tired. From form to formlessness, from name to namelessness, from time to timelessness and from space to beyond space—this is the continuous spiritual journey.

Someone asked me, “Having been here, having realised our dream, what is it that we should do?” I said there is nothing to be done, but there is everything to be experienced. Doing is a mechanical, human, psychological effort; it involves planning, strategy, and management; but experiencing happens without human effort. Experience is spiritual; it is Divine and destined. Experiencing without doing is what you have to look forward to on the spiritual path. Therefore, let this New Year help us move from doing to experiencing.

GO FROM DOUBT TO DOUBTLESSNESS

It is also important to have firm convictions. As Bhagavan says, doubt comes in the way of our life. Doubts are both positive and negative. But if we eternally doubt, we go insane! Too much doubting is a disease.

Someone asked Swami, “I know that You are doing everything for me, I know I am what I am because of Your infinite grace. But sometimes I doubt whether You have done something or whether I have achieved it by myself.”

Please note Baba’s answer: “Anything that you doubt is not real.” It is illusion, it is delusion, it is imagination. Therefore we should pray to move from doubt to doubtlessness. Let that be our new experience.

You don’t doubt whether your mother is really your mother. You may doubt the existence of God, but you don’t doubt Love, because Love is in your experience. That is why He has said, “Love is God, God is Love, live in Love.” Love is the first step, while the experience of God is a pilgrimage. So in our ongoing spiritual journey, the experience of God will also be eternal. Therefore, may this New Year help us to be firmly established in deep conviction and free from doubt.

DEVELOP THE SPIRIT OF SURRENDER

The next point Bhagavan says, on occasions like this, is also very important: Everything that happens in life is Divine, and is according to God’s design. We only suffer when we want things to happen according to our wishes. Sometimes we question God because we want Him to behave in a certain way and He does not.

For example, I want God to give His darshan at 6:30 a.m., and I want Him to speak (preferably with me and to avoid others). So I have my own design, my own plan, and I wish God to act in this definite pattern. But if He comes at 8:30 a.m. and ignores me completely—when there is a deviation from my expectations—then suffering and doubts arise. When we are free of doubt, we develop the spirit of acceptance and surrender. “Yes, it is left to Swami,” we say. “Whatever He wishes to do, He will do.”

UNCERTAINTY IS LIFE

Someone asked me this morning, “Anil Kumar, do you expect Bhagavan will give a discourse this morning?” I said, “We are in the course of life—discourse will come later.” (Laughter) How can I say whether there will or won’t be a discourse? Though God has clearly said, “Love My uncertainty,” we have not yet started loving His uncertainty. He has made His agenda very clear; He has made His plan very clear by the statement: “Love My uncertainty.”

We must love His uncertainty. There is a wider implication, a deeper ramification, in that statement. We must accept that most of the significant experiences in our lives, we have no control over or prior knowledge of. Nobody can define the exact time of departure from this planet. For example, in spite of advancements in science and technology, particularly in the field of medicine, we cannot predict the precise time of birth or death.

Just as birth and death are uncertain, so is life. Life is designed to be uncertain. Certainty and predictability have no taste! Where is the excitement when you know the schedule for your whole life: classes begin at 9 a.m., the office opens at 10 a.m., you marry at 20 years of age, you retire at 50—where is the thrill? Beauty lies in uncertainty. In uncertainty there is excitement, thrill, and the yearning of looking forward to something yet unknown.

Swami is not an aircraft, scheduled to be here at a certain time. All things that are mechanical, by definition, operate with a certain amount of certainty. That which is mechanical is certain. But that which is original or creative is uncertain. Let life be uncertain and organic; don’t live like a machine!

“THAT WHICH IS REAL IN ME JUST SPROUTED UP!”

Once a famous playback singer from Tamil Nadu named Sundarajan was in Whitefield. He was standing a long distance away from Swami. He asked the musician to sing, saying, “Come on, sing a few songs.” But Sundarajan was quite unprepared. He said, “Swami, instruments not necessary?” For musicians to sing without instruments is torture (Laughter) because most musicians depend on them. But Swami said, “Come on sing,” so Sundarajan started singing. After one song, Swami took pity on the artist and asked some students to help him, so they accompanied him with musical instruments.  

Later I met Sundarajan and asked, “You must have given a number of musical concerts; how did you like this morning’s show?” He said, “I loved this morning more than any other. All the performances I have given earlier were based on my total preparation, complete with instruments and other artists. This morning when Swami asked me to sing—that which is real in me, that which is latent in me, that which is immanent in me, that which is original in me—just sprouted up.” So this uncertainty made Sundarajan enjoy the experience.

I think Swami does that intentionally. One day Swami was seated on the dais, and at a distance were a few people who work in different wings of the Prashanti Nilayam organisation. Suddenly He asked one of them to come forward. This was unexpected—particularly when He is seated on the dais, Swami usually asks only students to come forward to give a letter. But on this day, He suddenly asked someone seated at a distance to get up and come. Everybody was looking around with curiosity to see who He was calling. He pointed to one fellow and said, “You get up.”

That man came and Swami materialised a chain for him. Well, I tell you this fellow must have taken a long time to recover! Had he been a student, or a sportsman, or a singer and had received a gift of this kind, he may have expected it. But for a person who never dreamed anything like this would happen, and who was seated far away, for Swami to call him and give him a chain . . . well, I think it took him at least one year to feel normal again! Therein lies the beauty in uncertainty—the thrill and excitement!

When Swami says, “Love My uncertainty,” it does not mean that we have to be prepared for frustration, disappointment, or depression—particularly now, when we spend more and more time waiting for Bhagavan’s darshan (at times one or one-and-a-half hours or even more). Let us take advantage of this situation, so that our waiting is not a waste of time. If, while waiting, we think of Him more and more, we expect Him more and more, or share experiences of Him with our friends more and more—it will all add to our spiritual time.

Just as Air Force pilots draw their salary on the basis of their flying time, so devotees will also have an extra “bonus” because of their waiting time—it is added to our so-called “earnings” in spiritual life. Therefore, waiting is no reason for disappointment, suffering, or frivolity, and “Love My uncertainty” is not a meaningless declaration. Its meaning is very deep.

REALISE THE DIVINE BY SERVING YOUR FELLOW MAN

This New Year should also help us to love nature and the world. The nature that we see around us cannot be neglected because, as the saying goes, Vishwam Sarvam Vishnumayam Jagath—the whole world is totally Divine. We cannot neglect it. Likewise, the body is the gift from God and we cannot be careless with it. We have to maintain it, but at the same time, be prepared to serve.

Someone recently said to me, “Anil Kumar, I am serving water.”

“Oh, water?” I asked.  “Very good! Where?”

“In the neighbouring villages,” he said.

“How do you feel about it?” I wanted to know.

“Very nice,” he replied.

Soon I saw that this man was boasting to everybody, “Water service, water service.”

I told him, “Serving water is a merit. Publicising it to everybody is a demerit. Plus one minus one—the result is zero.”

When you are serving others, you become joyful and happy. So you are actually not serving anyone else; you are serving yourself. This is the spirit of Sai service. I am happy while serving you: I am happy to make you happy and I smile as I make you smile—this is just reaction, reflection, and resound. So, may this body be directed toward service.  

Swami says, “Bend the body,” meaning, learn to serve. One may have knowledge or claim awakening or imagine enlightenment, but service is the only means to actually experience it. We may say, “God is everywhere; everything is Divine,” but in order to experience God, to realise the truth in this statement, we serve our fellow man. By serving all around, there comes a stage when we experience Divinity all around, in everyone.

Long back, an elderly person was given an interview, and Swami said, “You have served society; you have attended eye camps. You are a doctor; you have done so many surgeries free-of-charge: You are a man of service!” It was the physician’s first visit to this place, but Swami was telling him about all the service he had done for many people in the past. This shows that all service that we do is service to God. How do we know? Because Bhagavan has declared it and people have experienced it with Him.

SERVICE MAKES YOU AWARE OF GOD’S OMNIPRESENCE

We should also remember that Swami knows the other side of the coin. Once upon a time, two office-bearers began shouting at each other. The next day Swami called both of them and said, “Why do you fight about silly issues? Both of you are devotees. If you fight like that, what impression will you give to others? You are genuine, the other person is also genuine; but you fight with each other on silly grounds. Don’t do that.” The kind of awareness that Baba is everywhere, that God is everywhere, is possible in the field of service, by moving amongst people.

About 30 years ago, I was in Pakala, which is on the route to Tirupati. On that day, they happened to be conducting Narayana seva, serving food to poor people. There was a big heap of rice, and the organisers wanted me to give aarati to Bhagavan, and then serve the heap of rice to all present. (You may verify this with anyone.) On the heap of rice, I saw manifested a vibhuthi Omkar (that is, vibhuthi in the shape of Om), and vibhuthi piled on all four sides! That is enough proof to know that God is everywhere!

I can say, “Ishavasyam Idagum Sarvam” or “Ishwara Sarva Bhootaanaam” or “Anoraniyaan Mahato Maheeyaan,” which all mean that God is everywhere, from microcosm to macrocosm. But if someone were to ask, “How do you know? Have you experienced it?” I might answer, “I have only read about it.” Reading is different from experiencing God. When I personally saw the vibhuthi Omkar appear on the heap of rice, I was deeply moved. That is experiencing God.

SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE SHOULD COME FROM EXPERIENCE

A long time ago, when I had come freshly into the Sai fold, I enthusiastically read about all the miracles of Swami. I thought to myself, “Why don’t I have at least one experience?” I wondered whether all the miracles I read about were true or not. “Why don’t I experience them? Why don’t I see at least one?” I prayed.

One day a gentleman asked me, “Mr. Anil Kumar, we will have bhajans this evening, so why don’t you come?” I went to the residence of Mr. Narasimha Rao, an engineer, and he asked me to give aarati. As I was doing so in front of Swami’s photo, I heard a sound, ‘tak tak tak.’ I wondered what was happening—was someone throwing pebbles? What was that sound? I soon saw that it was drops of honey, amrith, dripping right on the picture of Swami, and drops of water were also falling on the entire area. I was so thrilled! I had been praying that I should have at least one miraculous experience, and it was happening right in front of me! That prayer was so nicely answered by Bhagavan.

I also remember in that early period, at my friend Malikarjun Rao’s house was a big picture of Shirdi Baba. They kept roses at His Feet by dipping the stems in a little bit of wax and sticking them on the picture. Bhajans were going in full swing:

“Kailasavasa Mahadeva Jagadeeshwara Hara Mahadeva

Tribhuvana Bala Baba Sai Deva.

Shiva Maheshwara Shiva Maheshwara Shiva Maheshwara Sairam

Shiva Maheshwara Shiva Shankara Shiva Mahadeva Sairam . . .”

And as we were watching, suddenly the flowers started falling right from the picture. So beautifully He showed us His omnipresence!

Once I asked a friend, “Where is Swami?”

He said, “He is on the veranda.”

“No,” I said, “Swami is in your heart, not on the veranda!”

Such things should be experienced. Then your knowledge becomes true. Otherwise, all the spiritual knowledge that we have is just accumulation, like a computer that saves information. We must see what is happening and we must experience it—that is the purpose of the Avatar.

GOD IS BEYOND TIME OR SPACE

Last night somebody asked me, “When God comes in human form, what is it that He does to me? In human form, how is He going to help me?” I said that He is going to help you by telling you that He is everywhere. Why does He have to come in human form? Because He has to speak to you; He speaks to you to tell you that He is everywhere. He tells you to experience Him everywhere. To confine Him to a particular place or timetable is very foolish because Swami is everywhere.

In the days before the Sathya Sai University came into existence, most students went to Bangalore University to study. There was one student named Vijay Bhaskar, who was taking classes for his Masters of Commerce at Bangalore University. While he was studying in the city, one day he decided to come to Swami’s residence in Whitefield. While he was travelling there, Swami was in Whitefield talking to everybody about him, something like a cricket commentary. He said this boy waited at the bus stop for such-and-such time; then he got into bus number so-and-so; got down at such-and-such place; next he got into bus number so-and-so; and here he comes!

My friends, these are miracles that carry some message. These are not just incidents to make everyone smile and be happy; they are not acts of entertainment. Every experience has a certain message behind it, a lesson to be learned.

Once, Swami wanted three very well-known scholars to come to Whitefield. The three scholars got ready and arrived at the railway station; but they didn’t have reservations and the compartments were already full. Two of the scholars were older than 70 years. So they told the third man, who was relatively younger than them (just 60 years old), “Please tell Swami that we cannot come because we have no reservation.”

Somehow the younger man managed to come to Swami. Swami looked at Him and said, “How about the other two?” Before he could open his mouth, Baba said, “The other two could not get into the compartment through the window like you!” (Laughter) Those two were very excited to know that Swami was aware that this younger fellow could gain entry through the window, while they, being much older, could not manage it. My friends, we feel a kind of excitement, a kind of ecstasy, as we think over these experiences.

BEND THE BODY, MEND THE SENSES

In the field of service, it is most essential to ‘bend the body’. I cannot claim to be a seeker by simply being academic, by merely reading. All the theory that we read must be put into practice. Service is a laboratory and the results are our experiences. Therefore, we must bend the body. Swami does not spare anybody in this command—everybody must work.

We must also spend our time usefully. When asked “How do you spend your time?” somebody answered in a jocular way, “I either generate rumours or I spread rumours.” (Laughter) Generating rumours or spreading rumours is gossip, vain talk. In spiritual life, all our thoughts and acts must be directed towards spiritual aims and objectives. If I need to talk, let me speak about Swami. If I am to listen, let me hear about Him. If I am to think at all, let me think of His glory and His Divinity. As Swami puts it, “Mend the senses.”

The senses are wayward or outward, and when they are not under our control, they will naturally drive us towards confusion and chaos. If we want to settle in peace and bliss, we have to keep the senses under control—that is what is meant by ‘mend the senses.’ It is in this direction that Swami has said:

             See no evil, see what is good;

             Do no evil, do what is good;

            Think no evil, think what is good;

            Hear no evil, hear what is good.

FOCUS YOUR SENSES ON SPIRITUAL MATTERS

So, having gone into the field of service, first ‘bend the body’, and second, ‘mend the senses’. When the senses are perverted or diverted in different directions, it is impossible to reach our destination.

Once, while talking to students, Swami turned to a boy who, like all other boys, was looking at Swami, and asked, “What are you thinking about?” The boy had no answer. Swami immediately said, “You are thinking of your friends. Most of your friends have gone home and are enjoying a vacation, but you are here. You are thinking of your friends—what cinemas they may have seen, and how many friends they have met.

“You are here,” Swami continued, “but you are thinking of your friends there. And what are your friends doing there? They are thinking of you, saying, ‘That boy is really lucky he is staying with Swami, whereas we are in the cinema hall. How lucky he is! He must be getting a number of gifts from Swami, whereas we fellows are just here on the street.’ So they think of you, and you think of them. None of you thinks of Me!” (Laughter)

‘Mend the senses’ means the senses are to be aimed towards our goal, in the spiritual direction. This will naturally soothe, soften, and smoothen out our lives. Our thinking process and emotions will be more balanced if we direct them toward spirituality. The more materialistic we are, the more agitated and disturbed we will be. If we go along the route of the senses, whichever way they go, we lose our peace of mind. That is the reason why Swami says, “Mend the senses.” The best way to mend the senses is to read Sai literature, meditate, or sing bhajans.

END THE MIND – YOU ARE NOT THE MIND

So, in the first stage, we ‘bend the body’, which refers to karma kshetra or the field of action. In the second stage, we should ‘mend the senses’; that is bhakthi marga, the path of love or devotion. Only then is it possible to get to the third stage, what Swami calls ‘end the mind’. He says, “Bend the body, mend the senses, and end the mind.”

End the mind. This is the toughest process, because when one goes beyond the mind, he is what he wants to be: centred, focused, and at peace, not by virtue of his name and form. He is very much at the centre of his life. He is focused at the very centre of his being.

It is the process from the state of be to the state of being. Sometimes people say, “Swami, my mind is not under control; my mind is disturbed.” Swami says, “How do you know? How do you know?” There is no answer.

I say, “My mind is restless; my mind is confused. But how do I know? Well, I know, that’s all!” (Laughter) Such an answer comes because we identify ourselves with our minds. Because I think I am the mind, I can act only at the level of the mind. At the psychological level, I am nonplussed; but while speaking to others, I simply say without awareness, “My mind is bad, my mind is spoiled, my mind is disturbed.”

Swami says, “What is this ‘my’ and what is this ‘mind’?” When I say ‘my car’, or ‘my pen’, what does it mean? You are not the pen and you are not the car. Rather, you are the owner of the car; you are the owner of the pen. Similarly, when you say ‘my mind’, it means you are the owner of the mind and you are not the mind. This means you are a witness to your mind. You are a witness—you just watch your thoughts.

Once a boy said to Swami, “All bad thoughts come to me, Swami. I have only bad thoughts.”

Baba said, “Since you know they are bad thoughts, you can drop them.” Once you know that they are bad thoughts, you can abandon or give up those bad thoughts.

The boy asked, “Swami, how is that possible?”

Swami gave this example: “If you catch hold of a snake, thinking that it is not a snake but merely a rope, what do you do when you realise its true identity? Do you continue to play with it? (Laughter) You drop it immediately, don’t you?” Yes, immediately you drop it! Similarly, once you know that thoughts are bad, you should drop them, right then and there.

THE THREE STEPS TOWARD GOD

In this New Year, let us follow these three steps. The first step is service—karma yoga, ‘bend the body’, which will discipline the body and keep it fit for its purpose. The purpose of the body is not to be fed continuously by uninterrupted loading and unloading. Paropakaaraartham Idham Shareeram. The physical body is given to serve others. So this karma kshetra, or bending of the body, will naturally take you to the next step: ‘Mend the senses’ by prayer, meditation, worship—or the nine paths of devotion. Then comes the final stage, ‘ending the mind’, which is jnana or the path of wisdom. Jnana says that the only curtain separating you from your dear God is this mind. It is the mind that gives you a feeling of separateness, of separate identity or ego. Once the curtain drops, ‘I’ do not exist. Once the river merges into the mighty ocean, it loses its name, form, and taste. I lose my name and form whenever the curtain of mind drops. This is possible by Self-enquiry, or Atma vicharana. To achieve that purpose, we have to pass through the first two steps.

AGE IS NOT A FACTOR FOR CHANGING ONESELF

We are very lucky in one sense. People celebrate the New Year in their own way—with festivity, gaiety, fun and frolic, new dresses, special preparations in the home, all kinds of formalities and paraphernalia, invitations, banquets and dinners everywhere—we are here discussing the spiritual aspects of the New Year. Are we not lucky? We are very fortunate to have a chance to introspect, to evaluate, to assess, to plan—at least from this point on.

An elderly man once said, “Swami, I am pretty old. I don’t think that I can change now. I have been in the darkness of ignorance, of life, for so long—60 or 70 years—who can help me, Swami? I am pretty old now.” Swami laughed and said, “No, nothing is too late. Nothing is too late! Don’t condemn yourself.”

Baba then gave an example: A fellow visited a cave. At the entrance he saw that it was absolutely dark inside, so he could not go in. He called to somebody from the village and said, “What is inside?”

“It is a cave; caves are always dark,” came the answer.

“For how long has it been dark in the cave?” he asked.

“The cave has been absolutely dark for hundreds of years,” he was told. This man was intelligent enough, so he took out a matchstick from a matchbox and lit it. The cave, which had been dark for hundreds of years, was now brightly lit by this one matchstick! Similarly, I may be 70 or 80 years of age, enveloped in the darkness of ignorance. But this life of tiresomeness, trouble, turmoil and challenge still has hope, because when I light that lamp of wisdom—the light of Swami’s grace, the light of Swami’s name—the darkness of ignorance will be dispelled. May Bhagavan bless you all. Happy New Year! Thank you for being here this morning.

Anil Kumar concluded with the following bhajan, “Ksheerabdhi Shayana Narayana”.

               OM…OM…OM…

 Asato Maa Sad Gamaya

Tamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya

Mrtyormaa Amrtam Gamaya

Om Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti