Swami Stories Taken From Sunday Talks Given by

 Anil Kumar

Taken from “Selected Sai Stories,” September 17th, 2000


Now that Swami stopped talking to them, now that Swami stopped looking at them (not with any ill feeling because these feelings have no place in the Divinity), they begin to look within. God does not have any anger. Anger and Divinity do not go together. God is Love. Love and anger cannot go together. He’s not angry. It’s only our guilty conscience that makes us feel like that.

Some people come and tell me, "Ah! Swami’s not looking at me. He’s angry with me!" If I feel that God is angry with me, I think it is only a feeling of ego. Why do you think that you are that important as to be the cause of anger to God Himself? He’s not a small man! If you are really the source of anger to God, you are really very great! I don’t think He will disapprove or be angry about simple, petty, little things, the trivia. After all, we are negligible, decimal, atomic, and fractional.

So, to say that ‘God is angry with me’ is only our ego. "I have committed some mistake, so Swami’s not looking at me!" It is only our guilty conscience. The sense of guilt makes you say that. Let’s not feel guilty. Guilty conscience is worse than guilt itself. Guilt is smaller, is small, while guilty conscience is big. The actual guilt will never make you punishable, but guilty conscience will make you go on worrying, go on feeling sad. That affects your performance, your life and it will tell on your face also because you will wear a long face, as you feel guilty.

So, my friends let us not consider ourselves very important like that, thinking that ‘God is angry with me. He’s avoiding me’ as if this Incarnation is just for our purpose. We’re not brothers of Ravana, Keechaka and all that; certainly not. Nor near cousin of Satin the Great! Why should we feel like that? So God has no anger. God has no prejudice. Nothing whatsoever!



So He stops talking to you. He avoids you. He doesn’t draw you so near which all He did some time back, only to promote you forcefully into the higher step - because we don’t go to the next step.

When He does not talk to you, what do you do? You close your eyes! Sightless! When once we close our eyes, we feel Him within. We talk to Him from within. We feel Him. We try to realize Him. Externally, we search for Him; internally, we realize Him. Externally we talk to Him; internally we feel Him. Externally we enjoy Him; internally we are blissful. Externally we see His separateness; internally we observe and experience the oneness with Him. Internally we will enjoy and experience oneness with Him. Externally you get separateness; you get joy, which is only temporary.

So the second stage, it is a stage of progress, a stage of turning inward. Think of Him, feel Him, be one with Him. That is the job of a true Master. If he craves for publicity, if he craves for recognition, appreciation, claps, cheers, acknowledgement, advertisement, publicity and all that, he is not a true Master. Swami can go on saying, "Hello, hello, hello! How are you? How are you?" He doesn’t do that. Why? He’s not for the mediocre thing.

Please remember my friends what Bhagavan has said: "I don’t praise anybody on the face. I don’t want anybody to praise Me. I don’t praise you and I don’t want you to praise Me. Why? You and I are one. Where is the need to praise anybody? When I am you, why should I praise myself? When you are Me, why do I need to praise you?"

Just understand the basic philosophy. If we don’t have that understanding, we feel disgruntled, disappointed and frustrated. That happens between the first stage and the second stage. This is also unavoidable. First stage nearness; second stage frustration and third stage inward path! That naturally happens. In the transition it happens.



One gentleman came and met me a few days ago. Let me not mention his name because I haven’t asked his permission. He was so close with Swami in those days. Swami stayed at their residence. He said, "But for three or four hours in a day, twenty-four hours I spent with Him, Sir. Not once, but spread over a decade and a half!"

He has been with Swami throughout. I was so happy. He was telling of the miracles of those days. He lost his mother. His is a royal family. He lost his mother and this gentleman, who is grown-up of course (He is just seventy-one years young!), in those days long back; he was talking with his father. Mother was no more. When both of them were talking in a public hall, please believe me, in the public hall there, mother who is no longer alive, who died long back, came out of that wall it seems. She came from the wall, sat there and spoke to both of them. She spoke to both of them, the father and the son, "How are you? What is with you?" and then vanished into the wall. He came and told me all this.

"Oh so great! Ah, Sir, now what is the problem?" I asked.

"He stopped talking to me, Sir."

"He stopped talking to you?"

"Yes. He doesn’t look at me." He has shown me the small letter from his daughter-in-law who wants some guidance from Swami, whether to go into surgery or medicine, MB or MS. She wants some guidance from Swami. "Sir, my daughter-in-law wanted me to hand over this letter. I am waiting for the last six days."

The person who was with Swami for twenty hours a day for over a decade and a half, today is in a position of not being able to hand a small chit to Swami!

I said, "Sir, really I share your feelings. I am so sorry."

Then he said, "No, Sir, I don’t feel sorry."

"Why? Why don’t you feel sorry, having enjoyed nearness so much, why don’t you feel sorry? Why?" Had he said, "I worry," I would have just consoled him for some more time. When he said, "I don’t worry," well, I am at a loss now because I am prepared to console him, with all my points ready, being a teacher!

Well, he said, "I don’t worry."

I said, "Why?"

"Sir, this is the time to think of the past. This is the time to think of those golden days. This is the time to think of the togetherness with Swami. This is the time to meditate on those beautiful days and moments of being with Swami. It is a time to recall, bringing back to memory all the sweet, nectarine Vedic words that Bhagavan said in those days. I think this is sadhana, the spiritual practice I am supposed to do now."

I said, “Perhaps Swami sent you to let me know this message now because anything that comes to me will never go to waste!"

ABC: Anil Kumar Broadcasting Corporation! It will go, yes! You cannot keep it, anything like a secret! Because I derive greatest joy in sharing with everybody! Yes! The moment Swami speaks to me there, I wait for a chance; then I run out there and tell somebody and come back. It is something like the cup, which is full of coffee. It starts spilling out. When it is full, it spills out. Well, my cup, the heart, is so small that it spills out very soon! Or it has got some holes, and it just oozes out! I can’t help it.



So my friends, a true master talks from within. He wants us to turn inward. He communicates from inside. Further Swami goes to another extent, takes us to another step. What does He say? "The one with body feeling (that ‘I am the body, this size, my height, my weight, my chest, my complexion, my personality, the perfume that I use, the dress I put on that body identification) - the one with body identification will consider his guru as the one having a body. You’ll also take Him to be a person. You’ll also consider him to be an individual. You’ll also consider Him embodied, in the form of a body. Because you have got the body feeling, you think that your guru also is the one with a body."

Now Swami says, "Guru has a body to take you out of body consciousness. No body consciousness. To make us lose this body consciousness, guru has a body. To drive us out of this body feeling, to take us away from the body attachment, guru has a body." See that. Who will tell that explanation?

And further He said, "The one who thinks of guru, limiting him to this body, has no understanding of a guru at all." Let us not think that Swami is only this much, no - Smallest of the small, biggest of the big. It’s just to please us, to make us happy that He has got that form. But He is actually formless.

The formless God has got a form to take us to that state of formlessness. And He smiles and talks with all affection, with all love and compassion, with attributes, in order to take us to that stage of attributelessness: from saguna, ‘attributes’ to nirguna, ‘attributeless’ state; from sakaara, ‘form’ to nirakaara, ‘formless’ state. That is the transition that is the journey that we have to pass through for which guru has come down on earth in a human form. That’s what Bhagavan has said in His discourse.



Another point: Bhagavan’s teachings appeal to our heart, not the mind. Bhagavan’s teachings touch our heart, not the mind. How do you say? This is a statement of Swami’s. "The teachings of a guru touch your heart and not the mind." Why? Mind is emotional. Mind is passionate. Mind is rather ephemeral, ever-changing. Mind is momentary and gets transformed from moment-to-moment. Mind in shushupti, in deep sleep, is non-existent. In thoughtless stage, mind vanishes. In a state of desirelessness, mind disappears. Mind exists because of thoughts. Mind took a form because of desires. When there is no thought, when there is no desire, there is no mind at all. But the heart is eternal, hridayam.

What is the heart? I am not speaking of the heart of the department of cardiology in a general hospital or in a Super-Specialty Hospital. Please kindly go through the back issues of Sanathana Sarathi where Bhagavan mentions clearly, "Spiritual heart is on the right side. The physical heart is on the left side." Baba said this. (Please believe me. I am accountable for every word I say. I know that. I can give you all the page numbers and sentences if you so want.)

"The spiritual heart is on the right side."

"Oh, I see. What does it do?"

"The spiritual heart communicates with the sahasrara. There are chakras in our body. Sahasrara, located in the brain here, is the thousand-petalled one. The spiritual heart establishes its connection with this sahasrara through an important connection, the live wire, if you want to call it, called sushumna. Sushumna is the live wire that connects the spiritual heart to the sahasrara, the thousand-petalled one, in the brain or the mind. Then this mind establishes contact with the rest of the body."

"So what Swami. What is it? What do you want to convey?"

"Heart is the center of energy. Heart is the generator. Heart is the transformer. Heart is thermal power station. From this Heart, the energy flows through Sushumna and enters into Sahasrara. From there it is supplied to the body."

So the body is energetic not on its own. Even after death, the body is there but it is not active. The body does not receive energy. So body receives energy from sahasrara, the thousand-petalled mind, head or the brain, and this sahasrara gets energy from the heart. So the heart, the spiritual heart, is the center of energy. That spiritual heart is consciousness. That spiritual heart is the spirit. That spiritual heart is Atma. That spiritual heart is our real being. It is our true nature. It is ever existent. It is eternal.